one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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