like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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