Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
