I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You have to summon your inner elephant
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
