Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I wear drunk well.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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