So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
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