My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
