Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.

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(925): View more from California

Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.

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(586): View more from Michigan

apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.

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(305): View more from Florida

God, you're like boner-b-gone

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.

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(517): View more from Michigan

All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?

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