last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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