hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
