I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
