pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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