If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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