I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
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