Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
