Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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