i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
