you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
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There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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