seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
