I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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