You took a bar mat shot.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
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You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
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Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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