I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
