also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
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It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
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The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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