I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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