The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
