I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
