kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
BRING THE BAGELS
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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