Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
