So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
