Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
