How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
