You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
