the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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