K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
