It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
