i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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