WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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