I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have feelings that need drinking.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
