Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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