He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
