I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
