my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
