Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize