i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
