1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize