Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
