I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
