I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
they need to just BURY HIM!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
