just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
