I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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