we're chasing vodka with high fives
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
