I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
