when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
