I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
