he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
