Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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