I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
