i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
