when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
