You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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