She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize