Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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