You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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