I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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