Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
